Depression Confessions: Tossing my Cookies

On good days I can feel so great I get excited and make plans bigger than me. And then I scare myself. What was I thinking? Why did I say that? WHY DO I SUCK SO MUCH?????

I don't suck so much. I don't suck at all really. I may sabotage myself, but not purposely, I mean if I were in a cast (which is what depression can feel like, a cast on your soul) and then it gets taken off suddenly I am certain I'd want to run and dance and do all the things I couldn't do while I was in the cast and over do it and have to rest.

It's like that. I overdid recently. I was happy and not depressed and I thought Selling cookies was a brilliant idea because I was full of I CAN-

but then After-Anxiety hit me for making promises I'm not sure I can keep. After-Anxiety is the consequence of too much I CAN.

SO, I will NOT be selling cookies. 

I may still send some to people if I feel up to it. 

But not for money and only If I'm still feeling up to it.

The Holiday Season is full of temptations and ambitions. 

To all my depressed lovely friends out there. 

Make plans to be happy, but if you're not feeling right don't push. 

You are more important that any promise or plans you make. 

Believe me, everyone who loves you would rather know your feeling ok then see you happy only to find out you were kinda of dying inside.

Originally Posted on Facebook, December 13, 2016