Depression Confessions: You might feel alone, but you are not.

Last week was really bad. Each day I was fighting the "You Suck" voices. 

I had this awful dream last Saturday kicking if off and the normal anxiety rise was building this deep self-loathing. Or as my therapist wants me to say self-double-plus-ungood. Words are important. don't use loathing as it gives depression extra power.

By Friday I could see the hurt in my husband's eyes. He wanted to help but there was nothing he could do for me.

This Saturday I had therapy and I don't know exactly what it was that we discussed, I don't remember.

It's a blind spot. But whatever it was, the pain is gone. 

Saturday, Sunday, Today. My inside is all quiet. Crickets and tumbleweeds where there had been roiling snakes hissing at me. I feel like myself again. and importantly I like me.

I learned that perhaps I need more vitamin D. I've been taking over the counter supplements since this weekend and I am feeling a little lift in my energy levels. That makes me hopeful.

If you're struggling with your depression right now. You're not alone. 

Depression tells you, that your too much work, too much of a burden-

Depression lies. 

You are worth every smile given, and every smile you fight to give. 

You are worth the time and care it takes, no matter how long it takes till the Depression passes. Because it will pass. Maybe not today. But it will pass. 

And I'll be here with you when it does, to celebrate the ability to feel happy again.

Originally published on Facebook November 28, 2016